Introduction
My name is Stacey, and I am a real life cookie monster. I have loved desserts my entire life, and actually, as a baby, my first word (besides mama and dada) was... true story.... "COOKIE!" I grew up on straight apple juice, high octane Kool-Aid, and fresh homemade baked goods almost daily. Add to that genetics which show me a glimpse into my future where I will always have a struggle with weight, two babies who have permanently changed my body upon their exits, and a whole ton of bad habits and only a glimmer of willpower, and... here I am.
I am 34 years old, and I am tired. I'm tired of the struggle to put myself first, my healthy self, my potential self. The self that I have put first is the self that gets tired working full time and "deserves" the pizza and dessert, the self that LOVES sweets, the self that doesn't like to see food wasted (you know, the "finish-all-the-food-on-your-plate" generation) so I eat all the leftover food on my children's plates, the self that is busy with work and laundry and cooking and cleaning and kids who "deserves" to sit down, finally at 9:00 at night, for the first time all day, with a glass of wine so I can watch half of a TV show on the couch before falling asleep, and then begrudgingly crawls into bed an hour later knowing the 5:20am alarm is coming.
I've always kept this saying in my brain:
And for a long time, that was really funny. But as I've gotten older, I fear that this is the more accurate picture:
There's a lot more to my back-story, and I'll share as I go, but here's the picture. Maybe if I process this out, in my own way, and reflect every day on this journey, it will help. Maybe knowing that YOU are reading this (whoever "YOU" turns out to be) will help me be more accountable. And maybe I'm just not the only one.
Tomorrow starts another day of starting to be healthy again, and it's horrible timing. The holidays are around the corner, and... Christmas cookies are my jam. So here's to hoping a few more positive habits at a time can make a big enough difference for me that I can keep the cookie monster in check just enough to allow the benefits of my effort to show through and encourage me to keep moving and to get better and stronger. And when I fail, you can call me out on it and then help me back up, and then maybe we can help each other and be "tough cookies" together!
I am 34 years old, and I am tired. I'm tired of the struggle to put myself first, my healthy self, my potential self. The self that I have put first is the self that gets tired working full time and "deserves" the pizza and dessert, the self that LOVES sweets, the self that doesn't like to see food wasted (you know, the "finish-all-the-food-on-your-plate" generation) so I eat all the leftover food on my children's plates, the self that is busy with work and laundry and cooking and cleaning and kids who "deserves" to sit down, finally at 9:00 at night, for the first time all day, with a glass of wine so I can watch half of a TV show on the couch before falling asleep, and then begrudgingly crawls into bed an hour later knowing the 5:20am alarm is coming.
I've always kept this saying in my brain:
And for a long time, that was really funny. But as I've gotten older, I fear that this is the more accurate picture:
There's a lot more to my back-story, and I'll share as I go, but here's the picture. Maybe if I process this out, in my own way, and reflect every day on this journey, it will help. Maybe knowing that YOU are reading this (whoever "YOU" turns out to be) will help me be more accountable. And maybe I'm just not the only one.
Tomorrow starts another day of starting to be healthy again, and it's horrible timing. The holidays are around the corner, and... Christmas cookies are my jam. So here's to hoping a few more positive habits at a time can make a big enough difference for me that I can keep the cookie monster in check just enough to allow the benefits of my effort to show through and encourage me to keep moving and to get better and stronger. And when I fail, you can call me out on it and then help me back up, and then maybe we can help each other and be "tough cookies" together!
Stace--- not gonna lie--- your blog title gave me a good chuckle! We must have known we we're soul sisters when your mom brought me the leftovers of your graduation or birthday cake in the middle of the party because "I like cake"! Take it one challenge/struggle at a time. I know I will understand your mommy struggle very soon�� Keep blogging!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kel! Your support has always been a huge benefit to me. I can't wait to be a part of YOUR little one's life - and we can grumble about getting older and all that entails on the journey. Being a mom is so worth it, though, even with all it brings and I wouldn't take it back for anything!
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