Day 7 - How A Snowball Gets Rolling

It's been 3 days since I posted, and MAN am I frustrated.  I was so excited to be down 2 pounds, which I'm still holding, but one day of an "excuse" to start eating more junk turned into a FEW days of excuses, and then I don't find myself keeping other healthy habits.  Why is it that as SOON as I see some success, I start to sabotage myself?  I can't be the only one that does this, but I haven't really heard other people talk about it.  I get caught in this whole "deserve" cycle again, and I don't really understand where in my life it exactly started that I began to view sweets and junk food and soda as rewards for people who "deserve" them.

 We had another spirit day at work on Friday, Disney day, which I was super excited about.  Dressed as Snow White, I even met up with a few other ladies from my department to make our costumes together.  My amazing department chair creates these super cool backdrops for us, and when she posted the picture online today, I was so impressed with the picture, but so disappointed in myself.  When did I become the biggest person of a group of people?  I've never been the "chunky" friend in school, but now, I am the biggest out of most of the people that I regularly see.  It was really tough to see myself that way.  Now, I had TONS of compliments in school on Friday - how they loved my costume, how cute I looked... why do I let my own views of myself trump those of others?  I guess I have the battle in my brain wondering if what people say out loud to me is what they are also saying in their brains.  (A few weeks ago, I covered a class for another teacher, and I overheard a boy ask another student if I was pregnant.  I'm not.  It was devastating.)

Living an 80/20 lifestyle is a large goal of mine. Most of the time, I'm really proud of myself of the steps that I'm taking toward that goal. Why is it that even though I've taken so many good steps forward, that I can get thrown back so fast?  Never mind how I've been adding my shakes back in and drinking more water and making MUCH better food choices.  Nevermind how I've decreased the junk, watched my portion sizes, and tried to think so much more positively.  One picture, and I feel like I have been blown quite a few steps back, and then the guilt has set in.   I know that I'm not alone, and that other people must have the same struggle. Because it is a struggle, for most of us I'm sure. But yet I feel like often, people just think that talking about struggles is complaining, yet I feel differently. It helps me to know that I'm not alone. And if I've helped you to know that you aren't alone, jot down a positive comment for me to help keep me accountable and remind me that we're all in this together!   I know that taking steps forward, even slowly is better than standing still.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Introduction

Image
My name is Stacey, and I am a real life cookie monster.  I have loved desserts my entire life, and actually, as a baby, my first word (besides mama and dada) was...  true story....  "COOKIE!"  I grew up on straight apple juice, high octane Kool-Aid, and fresh homemade baked goods almost daily.   Add to that genetics which show me a glimpse into my future where I will always have a struggle with weight, two babies who have permanently changed my body upon their exits, and a whole ton of bad habits and only a glimmer of willpower, and...  here I am.  I am 34 years old, and I am tired.  I'm tired of the struggle to put myself first, my healthy self, my potential self.  The self that I have put first is the self that gets tired working full time and "deserves" the pizza and dessert, the self that LOVES sweets, the self that doesn't like to see food wasted (you know, the "finish-all-the-food-on-your-plate" generation) so I eat all the leftover food on
Read more

Day 76 - I Have A Fever... And The Only Cure Is More Girl Scout Cookies

Image
These last two weeks, our house has been a petri dish of nasty germs.  Living in a house where my husband and I are both teachers in different school systems, my son is in an elementary school, and my daughter goes to a daycare, means that we come home with four different sets of "gross" on a daily basis, so when one of us goes down, the others are likely to follow.  But this time has been different, because we've all been catching DIFFERENT things, which blows my mind.  Just when you think life is crazy, add something in like sickness and it shows you just how good you had it before when you were already complaining.  Keeping in that mindset of "someone else always has it worse than you do" I'm also reminded that "health is not valued until sickness comes."  To weeks ago, my got the flu.  As soon as he was on the mend, we had an ER visit for my daughter, which ended up in the conclusion that she had "some virus" which STILL didn
Read more

Day 23 - Daring To Fast Like Daniel

Image
In combination with my New Year's Resolution, my church has entered its theme of "Reset 2017," and in church this past Sunday, our pastor spoke about the Daniel Fast.  This is more than just a "cleanse" or a "detox" because it's not only for physical health, but for mental and spiritual health as well. The Bible mentions two fasts in the Book of Daniel - Chapter 1 speaks of a fast that is a period of 10 days, and Chapter 10 speaks of a 21 day fast, BOTH in which diet should consist mainly of just vegetables and water (other things are allowed: "pulse" references food from seed, but no meats, no dairy, etc).  The second main component of the Daniel Fast is that it must be done in combination with regular prayer.  The outcome one should expect is to make big, powerful change in your life and that you will receive great blessings from God. These fasts are mentioned in the Book of Daniel, but didn't have a specific name.  Over
Read more