Day 7 - How A Snowball Gets Rolling

It's been 3 days since I posted, and MAN am I frustrated.  I was so excited to be down 2 pounds, which I'm still holding, but one day of an "excuse" to start eating more junk turned into a FEW days of excuses, and then I don't find myself keeping other healthy habits.  Why is it that as SOON as I see some success, I start to sabotage myself?  I can't be the only one that does this, but I haven't really heard other people talk about it.  I get caught in this whole "deserve" cycle again, and I don't really understand where in my life it exactly started that I began to view sweets and junk food and soda as rewards for people who "deserve" them.

 We had another spirit day at work on Friday, Disney day, which I was super excited about.  Dressed as Snow White, I even met up with a few other ladies from my department to make our costumes together.  My amazing department chair creates these super cool backdrops for us, and when she posted the picture online today, I was so impressed with the picture, but so disappointed in myself.  When did I become the biggest person of a group of people?  I've never been the "chunky" friend in school, but now, I am the biggest out of most of the people that I regularly see.  It was really tough to see myself that way.  Now, I had TONS of compliments in school on Friday - how they loved my costume, how cute I looked... why do I let my own views of myself trump those of others?  I guess I have the battle in my brain wondering if what people say out loud to me is what they are also saying in their brains.  (A few weeks ago, I covered a class for another teacher, and I overheard a boy ask another student if I was pregnant.  I'm not.  It was devastating.)

Living an 80/20 lifestyle is a large goal of mine. Most of the time, I'm really proud of myself of the steps that I'm taking toward that goal. Why is it that even though I've taken so many good steps forward, that I can get thrown back so fast?  Never mind how I've been adding my shakes back in and drinking more water and making MUCH better food choices.  Nevermind how I've decreased the junk, watched my portion sizes, and tried to think so much more positively.  One picture, and I feel like I have been blown quite a few steps back, and then the guilt has set in.   I know that I'm not alone, and that other people must have the same struggle. Because it is a struggle, for most of us I'm sure. But yet I feel like often, people just think that talking about struggles is complaining, yet I feel differently. It helps me to know that I'm not alone. And if I've helped you to know that you aren't alone, jot down a positive comment for me to help keep me accountable and remind me that we're all in this together!   I know that taking steps forward, even slowly is better than standing still.


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